One of the things that distinguishes the Episcopal Church from most other churches is the variety of free thought that is welcomed. Given a dozen or so typical Episcopalians, and you will find religious opinions as diverse as the landscape of America. Publicly, you will find those who are outspoken in their support of school prayer, gay marriage, pro life, pro choice, fundamentalists, universalists, liberal, and conservative. Privately, you will find those who do not believe in the Resurrection of Jesus, His being the only son of God, the authority of the Bible, life after death. Many would have doctrine change as often as public opinion changes. Others are very traditional and conservative. Sometimes I am really set back. Isn't there anything that you absolutely must believe to still call yourself "Christian"?
What allows and nourishes this diversity of opinion are two widely held Christian beliefs - "Judge not, let ye be Judged" and "If we're going to err, it's better to err on the side of love."
You know maybe I should just stop writing right here, after all, it would seem that those two beliefs sum it all up. We should indeed love without ceasing, and it's pretty hypocritical to criticize anyone when you're just as bad or worse.
But loving someone does not mean that we condone everything they do. In many churches, people are discouraged from ever criticizing their neighbor - that would be "Un-Christian". Yet if that neighbor is doing something that is clearly harmful to himself, how it is "love" to stand by and let him destroy himself?
Jesus was not passive on this issue. He welcomed the prostitutes, the tax collectors, all sorts of sinners. But, in welcoming them, he admonished them to "go and sin no more." And he didn't accept any excuses. If you can't stop looking and young girls, pluck out your eye. Better to be blind and walk upright with God than to fall prey to your weakness. Do you masturbate? Cut off your hand. Better to be lame and remain in the embrace of God than to give in to your weaknesses. Do you envy your neighbor? Do you give in to greed, desire, gluttony or other weaknesses? Cut it out! Cut it out now! God indeed forgives sins, but you must renounce them first. Distance yourself from temptation. Recommit your life to serving God, not your desires.
Easily said - not easily accomplished. And for that reason we have a community of faith to help us. In a community we can work together to life one another out of sin, temptation and weakness. But as a member of that community, if we refuse to get involved, refuse to give our love by doing what needs to be done to restore another's dignity and self respect, then what good are we?
So comes to church, a prostitute. Some church members would ask themselves "What would Jesus do?" The obvious answer is that Jesus would love them, as he did so many times in the Gospels. But then, many of these same church members would claim that Jesus would not judge them. And THAT belief is wrong, at least in the way the modern Christian would interpret the phrase "Judge not lest ye be judged."
First of all, the statement "Judge not lest ye be judged" does NOT mean "Don't Judge others". In fact, the Greek literally translated means "by the measure with which you judge others, so you will be judged". That's not Don't Just, but rather, be objective, be fair in your judging. Apply the same rules to yourself as you would to others. It's the basic golden rule and the Greatest Commandment simply restated. As you would someone should do for you, do likewise for them.
Another point that gets misinterpreted by many Christians who "Don't Judge" is the fact that neither I, nor you, nor our fellow church members, nor any person on Earth, even and including Jesus himself, have the right to place judgment on a person. That right belongs solely to God. But we do have the responsibility, even the obligation to judge other's behavior. Many Christians simply cannot separate the two. For them, judging behavior IS judging the person. That is not so.
Have you ever called someone a name? We learn from the earliest age, "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but name can never hurt me". But, in fact, they do hurt, not necessarily the person to whom they are directed, but they hurt the relationship between that person and yourself. Whenever that person does something you don't like, you run that behavior through your filter "We'll, that's understandable, he's an idiot". If that person knows that you think he is an idiot, then every reaction you give him, will be run through his own filter, "What do I expect from him, He thinks I'm an idiot". When you apply such labels to vulnerable, sensitive people, children for example, the damage can be long term. By applying your label to them, "You stupid child", you cut them. Each time they hear those words, there's another cut. If they hear that from someone else, that merely reinforces their negative image of them self. Only God has a right to do this.
In stead we are charged with judging their behavior. "What you did was careless, hurtful" or "What you DID was stupid". Emphasis on what, not on that person themselves.
From the beginning, when the Apostles received the Holy Spirit, they were entrusted with these or similar words: "What you Judge on Earth will be Judged in Heaven" or "What ye bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and what you loose on earth, will be loosed in heaven". The emphasis is on WHAT, not on WHO. The apostles were entrusted with the responsibility for their own spiritual growth. Those behaviors, those things, those temptations that they bind or lose will be a part of who they are. It takes a pretty discerning heart to determine what must be loosed in heaven and earth, and what must be bound. In fact, it would take someone of superior character, someone who in fact, is motivated not by the flesh, not by the laws of men, not by tradition or canon, but motivated solely by love, and guided by the Holy Spirit.
What parent would sit idly by and knowing that their child is abusing drugs, or hiding a weapon, or soliciting sex on line, what parent would step back and say "It's not my position to judge them"? Well it certainly IS. Not only are you the parent, you have not, and can never abandon your unconditional love for them. So out of that love for them, you simply cannot sit idly by and let them destroy their lives - you have to do something.
Knowing, like most parents, that yelling and punishment no long are effective to a teenager - do you give up? You can't. If it takes you the rest of your life and fortune, no sacrifice is too great for someone you love. Your love of them will not allow you to give up. A child can tell when you are faking love. You can't go from years of neglect, from years of letting them have their own way, doing whatever they want, to all at once, cracking down on them. After years of neglect, suddenly telling them that you love them, is just going to fall of deaf ears. Love is measures not in words, but in the time and sacrifice you give to them.
Oftentimes, the only way to rescue your child is to rescue your relationship with them first. How did it ever get to the point that it now needs rescuing? Were you too busy for them year after year? Did you adopt the attitude early on that you were simply going to respect their space and privacy? Maybe you thought that loving them meant your not being judgmental, or maybe you held fast to the to the notion of treating them the way you would want to be treated. Well for most kids, they would love you to treat them the way THEY way to be treated, because that means "Freedom, Baby!"
Well, freedom without responsibility, without guidance, without the authority of any to keep you from harming yourself, if always a short trip to disaster. So we get involved, from the time they are babies, and we stay involved. We extend more and more freedom as they grow older, and we judge, yes we do judge, how they handle each new freedom. And we have to, we must as good parents, judge their behavior. But it is the behavior that was judge, not their whole selves. We don't call them "stupid", less everything they do from then on, is filters "Well, I must be stupid, that's what dad thinks". They may, and certainly will, do stupid things, but it is those things that are hurting them. It's those things that are evil, harmful, and pulling them down. It is their behavior, their choices, that need to be evaluated (judged), not they themselves. We love them, and always will. What we bind is bound, and what we loose is loosed. Not WHO we bind, but WHAT, and that is behaviors, the things the weaknesses.
So as we love our children, should we no less, as Christians, love others in that same way? I understand that we can no more go up to a stranger, even someone we might have met in church, and demand of them "I think you out to quit drinking" (or smoking, or beating your wife, or cheating, or what have you). That message from you will be received as warmly as trying to reign in a child you've barely spoken to for years. First repair the relationship - then the behavior.
We all have our weaknesses, we all have those things we just cannot quit. Paul understood this too. "I do those things I know I ought not do, and I don't do those things I know I should." It's tough being human. We'd stuck in old habits. We have cravings. We have weaknesses, some for chocolate, some for alcohol, some for sexual gratification outside marriage. We are all human. Some weaknesses are biblically listed as "sin", but any weakness is giving control of that part of our lives to that thing whatever it is. Not all weaknesses are "sin" but all sin is weakness. So even if you don't label an out of control temper as a "sin", it is still harmful. Maybe you don't label smoking as a sin, but for most, it is a weakness that they cannot control.
Maybe your interpretation of scripture makes it difficult for you to label homosexuality as a "sin". But in as much as sodomy is a behavior, and someone has to choose to engage in that behavior, if that person cannot control his urge, then it is most definitely a weakness. And in as much as that person refuses to let go of that weakness, or any weakness they might have, then they retain that weakness. What they loose is loosed, what they retain is retained. God does not want the desires of this life to control us. He does not want us to be controlled by our own weaknesses, but rather, to recognize them, control them, not let them control us, and being now able to choose when we are weak, that we can then choose IF we are to be weak, and finally that we will NOT be weak but be strong against all temptation.
So what would you say to the prostitute in your church? Do you tell yourself "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? Or do you, like everyone else in the church, tell yourself that it's not your place to say anything at all. Maybe she likes doing what she does, and has no desire to change. If so, she has let that weakness become her master, and you simply cannot have two masters. Either you serve God, or you server yourself.
Or maybe she does not desire that kind of life, but sees no way out. There are mouths to feed, bills to pay. Does love mean sitting silently, non-judgmentally, while she suffers? Is there nothing you can do, no job, no home, no opportunity that you or someone you know couldn't make available to her? Well, how can you love someone if you sit by and let the destroy themselves? Would you sit idly by if it were you own child? Well, though a prostitute, she is a child of God, and you are God's server. You are God's eyes, his ears, arms, his hands, his mouth here on earth. We serve God best by getting involved, by knowing right from wrong, and knowing that weakness of any kind control us, and are barriers between us and God.
God wants everyone to become perfect, not in the sense that we "can sin no more." No one in the flesh can be totally devoid of the temptations of this life, whether the temptations be from gluttony, envy, pride, gossip, temper, etc. We are, after all, "still human". But as Christians, we are not "ONLY human". We have the Holy Spirit to give us strength to conquer temptations, no so much at first, but as we become stronger in character, we can and will overcome the temptations of this life.
The perfection that God wants us to be is the perfection of becoming what God wants us to be. A seed becomes a plant and grows, and with water, soil and sun, it becomes a mighty tree. That is the natural completeness of the seed. Human beings are born into the flesh, but with Christ, we are reborn into the spirit. It is then that we become the perfect being that God wants us to be. But merely saying that you are a Christian is not the same as being a Christian. Take a lump of rock which contains Gold or silver, it cannot become what it is intended to be until it is put to the fire. All the impurities are burned away leaving pure metal, which cannot tarnish, because all the negative has been burned away.
A Baptism of the Holy Spirit is just like that, it is a burning away of all the negative in your life. That Baptism requires that we first believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, and then we commit ourselves to renouncing our sins and weaknesses. If you don't renounce your weaknesses, you retain them. Whatever you retain, keeps the metal inside you impure. You will tarnish. You must let go of all that can harm you. Then, you can take on a new being, a Holy Spirit, that will keep you strong.
For most people, the Spirit comes long before the sinning stops. That is why Christians continue to sin. They are indeed Christians, but like the leaven that has not yet leavened the entire lump of dough, there are areas in our own life that we have not given over to the Spirit. Weaknesses remain, and they will surely be dealt with, and overcome in time.
But when we take up God's will for our life, and let go of our own desires, we will over time become what God has planned for us: strong, dignified, faithful, and loving. But if we continue to live in a life of sin and weakness, unwilling to renounce and overcome our sins, then our hope lies in the courage and willingness of someone else, a friend, a loved one, someone who loves me, to lovingly help me through my weakness. He or she would herself listen, and wait for an opportunity to say what needs to be said. He or she would be patient with me, but not give up on me. They would find a way to approach me, sit down with me, perhaps jog with me, or go to dinner with me as a friend, always listening for that door to open, seize the moment and lovingly show me by their love for me [agape], that my behavior, my attitude, my weakness is eating them up. He or she would offer me help, guidance to get me to rise above my weakness. Should I refuse their help, my friend, whoever he or she is, would have the courage, I pray, to not give up on me, but bring other friends if necessary to my aid, not with their pompous words and hypocritical attitudes, but with real hope, and their own experiences of how they were able to rise above their sins.
Should I refuse their help, or if I still cannot let go of my destructive desires, then I should hope that there is enough love in the church, to band together to find some way to help me. But should I reject their help, and only want to retain their friendships, then they would have the courage to risk losing that friendship with me, if it meant saving my life from sure destruction. And if I am must part with the church, it is I who have cast them out of my life, not they who have cast me out. If I were self destructing, how I would have wished that someone, even one, had loved me enough to pull my hand out of the fire.
How often in most churches does this plea for help go unanswered and ignored? People looking at the church see hypocrites who seem to judge others, but refuse to control their own weaknesses. Is there any wonder that the numbers who attend church are dwindling. In a real struggle not to judge others, we legitimize their negative behavior, but our silence. Instead of giving real love, taking care of their real need, we ignore it, refuse to interfere with other's private lives, and the weak falter, and fall away. Is it any wonder? How can there be a church so full of souls that profess every Sunday their love of God, but who refuse to "meddle" in other people's lives. Sometimes love requires us to "meddle". But when we do, we must approach people with the same care and love that we ourselves would respond to if we needed a talking to. Love, love, love. Always love, even in those times when it hurts us to do what must be done, never stop loving. Christian love is loving that other person with the same intensity that we would wish for were we in the same situation. Christian love is knowing that before I can restore that child of God to his dignity and self respect, I must first restore my own relationship to him.
Unfortunately for many churches, relationships exist as far as they eye can see, broad in numbers, but shallow in intensity. Many are afraid to wander out where the water is deep, they're content in the shallows where they can see the bottom, they know what to expect, and they are always safe. There are so many in every church that need answers, and there are so many others in the same churches who "have all the answers." But because to those that have all the answers, "Love" means not judging, not getting involved, the needy continue to need, and the righteous continue to bask in their self righteousness.
It is time to understand that any weakness, any impediment which keeps someone from becoming the complete person that God desires them to be, any such barrier, needs to be confronted by anyone who is strong enough in character and spirit to do the will of God and get involved. If YOU happen to be that one person who knows of a back door, a connection to a person whereby you can reach through to their heart, then you have an obligation to reach out to that child of God and use the opportunity that God has provided you, to restore them, their family, their self-respect. If you need help, the whole church is waiting to do what they can - but you might be the very one that God has chosen to open the door to someone else in need. It's your move. Do you take it, or just walk away? Do you open your eyes to see what is destroying their life, and so something, or do you reassure them that it's not your place to judge them. What sins are retained on earth are retained in heaven. If you are guilty of neglect on earth, will that sin of neglect be retained by you in heaven? I would suggest that we must open our eyes, and wherever we are able, talk to our friend when the opportunity comes, about what is destroying his life. We all have our weaknesses. Perhaps he can help you with yours and you help him with his, and both of you become the better for it. That is the true measure of love. As God loved us and sacrifice his own son for us, it is certainly reasonable for us to return God's love by passing on that love to those who need it most.