It is all right to "feel" whatever it is you're feeling, right? I hear it said all the time "well, I can't help the way I feel." Many of the new generation of psychologists, many of them now involved with what is called "Christian Psychology," will teach, as a virtual scientifically proven fact, that "it is okay to feel the way you feel," or "It is okay to have those feelings, you can't help it, you are still human, after all."
We read in the New Testament, that God knows our every need before we even utter them. While we are feeling a need, but before we can put these needs into words, God already knows them. God does know our needs, our feelings and our thoughts. Surely as God knows our needs before they are spoken, He also knows our weaknesses, our failures, our temptations, our feelings and our thoughts, long before we speak or act upon them. Jesus taught that it is not enough merely to keep yourself from the act of sinning, it is critical to rid yourself from even the desire to sin. If you have a particular weakness, be it alcohol, tobacco, drugs, flirtation, lying, gossiping, anger, or a host of other weaknesses, it is not only time, but the plan of Jesus to put a barrier between you and that sin, that person, that activity, either physically or behaviorally.
Since God knows our every need, knows our prayers before we can utter them, surely he knows as well, our every weakness, our temptations, our failures, and our attitudes. Yet, some act as though they can hide, like Adam and Even in the Garden of Eden, and God won't see them. Many non-Christian might get by with that attitude, and for them we have the laws, regulations, rules such and business rules, and rules of etiquette, rules of ethics and so many other unwritten rules that people are expected to observe daily. But the rules of man dictate right behavior. The rules of God, on the other hand, dictate right attitudes.
The ancients took the law of God, and reduced it to the law of man, social laws, religious laws, moral laws and so forth. They codified it so that there was a rule to govern any question of social or religious inner action. But they rarely took it to heart. Those that did, as Jesus predicted centuries later, were made to suffer for the truth. The power was in the written word, the law the scripture, and the power of the unwritten, everlasting, and all encompassing word of God, his universal truth, that is love, that is substance not mere behavior, that word was ignored through the ages.
Jesus rekindled that flame, and legitimized discussions and debate about the deeper truth and meaning behind the scriptures.
Even now, most of us, if not all at some time or another, harbor ill feeling toward another. Most of us could become vulnerable to continuous flirting by others. Most of us would take advantage of incorrect change coming our way. There are so many incidents where it seems that nobody is looking, or noone will find out, or noone cares. These are the very words which a tempter would use if you were sitting on the fence struggling to do what is right. Others take advantage of our human nature, and add "we're only
human" or "be a man" or "everyone else is doing it."
The worst response to temptation a person can have is to harbor a belief that "hey, no problem, I can handle it," as though when it gets a little too hot, they know when to get out of the fire. This is a self-righteous attitude. Yes, self righteous, because it reflects a belief that I can think and feel what ever I will, maybe even react with my human nature, but I have no need to be concerned or worried so long as I don't "sin." We draw the line at actually sinning, but up until then we consider ourselves pretty safe. This is the self-righteous attitude that I am speaking about, the belief that attitude, feelings, and thoughts have no effect on our lives, that it is okay to harbor beliefs,
feelings, and thoughts that are not Christian, and still call ourselves in clear conscience, "Christian."
We know that when our beliefs are in conflict with God, that we are at odds with Christianity, but we even pass that off as a temporary set back, or beliefs that are alright, just so long as keep it to myself, and continue to support the church. But before we lay back on our righteousness, we better take a closer look at our thoughts and feelings. How do we deal with temptation. Do we resist it in actions alone, or do we resist even the thought of temptation. Do our deeds say Christian, but our thoughts and words say hypocrite.
Yes we are all weak, that is our human nature. But we have a source of strength. God is strong enough to lead us though the valley of temptation, not just to turn our back on evil, but our hearts, and minds as well. If we wait until we have already stumbled, and then ask him to pick us up, we will stumble again. We overlook a great opportunity by not turning to God at the first thought of temptation. God can heal us even before we hurt, but opening our eyes to the pain and suffering that lies ahead. We may live out our lives from day to day, but our spiritual lives exist beyond the day to day. With the strength of God to hold us up, we can tell these thought "no, I won't, I refuse to look, I refuse to even consider a life without my wife, I refuse to even consider saying something negative. Yes, I hurt, with God's help I can deal with that, but with his help also, I can resist the temptation to make others suffer along with me." If you continue to give in to thing about temptation, you will eventually give into temptation by your behavior as well. If you are inclined to sin, you will sin, therefore, whatever it is that is the door to your temptation, slam that door and through away the key. If
you can't help but looking back at those who flirt, then force yourself to look away.
Just as a child tediously must learn every muscular movement to bring a cup to his mouth, so too, when we learn to resist temptation, it is difficult at first, forced, labored. But in time, we can turn away with ease, as go on to fighting the more subtler forms of temptation. Eventually, we can bring that cup to our lips without spilling what is inside. But it takes time, practice, the help of God, and our resisting the cliches of "I'm only human" and "it's okay to have my feelings, I am only expressing what I feel."
When we confess our behavior to another, what strength can another offer us, the act was already committed. He can try to give us comfort, compassion, understanding, but what can he do to prevent you from doing it again? Will he be there to literally drag you away from temptation? Yet there is strength in numbers. When we confess to others our weakness, at what times and circumstances to we become weakest, they can help. They can leave a number. But who wants to receive a call at all hours of the night whenever the other is tempted. Perhaps we wouldn't mind receiving those calls, if we knew that in our time of need, others were there to receive our call when we needed them. That is what a support group is all about, someone to call, when we are weak. Someone to say, pour out the bottle, right now. Someone to say put out that cigarette, walk away from that close-
out sale. That is where the church helps.
The church is a lot of things to a lot of people, and to those who come to church to meet with friends, it can be a support group as well. But too often it is used as a group to support my righteousness, support my happiness, support all those things which make me proud and happy today, greet me, hug me, make me feel good about being here.
Today, as every day for months, the girls in the next building walk past my window on their way to their work. Most ignore me, but a couple wave as they pass. In my younger, days when I was single, I would take their attention to be an invitation to get to know them better, and should be not work out, maybe we could be friends. But we both know from the glances, that if the opportunity, or my weakness should happen, it is more than friendship that we are seeking. So I have stopped returning their attentions. I have even closed the blinds on the windows. And I am stronger for it. Should some girl seriously stop me and make a suggestion of a closer relationship, I hope that with God's help, I would have the strength to tactfully laugh and turn away. I believe that I have that strength, but I would not have it if I could not even muster up the strength to close the curtains when temptation arises. Jesus offers that if our eye offend then, to cut it out. At there very least, if my glances are causing me to be tempted, to think and feel what is sinful, then the very least I should do is close the curtains. If it were in my office, I would be called to make a bigger sacrifice, perhaps even leaving my job. What good is prosperity if my life is lived in guilt and sin.
Support, from God, through our brothers, each one helping the other. We offer help with drinking problems, but never want to get involved in problems that effect a marriage. Where others fear to dread, that is the very place where we must be missionaries. To the sick, the hurting, the infirmed, the lamed. There are those who hurt spiritually, these are so often the untouchables of our Christian mission. These must become our brothers, our new frontier for healing. There is so much to heal, and so much to do. But it cannot get if we allow ourselves to become contented with our destructive thoughts and feelings and instead only check our behavior.